I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
