Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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