We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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