I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
