ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
