member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
