I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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