the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize