? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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