Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
