I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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