He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
