So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
