do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
