If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
