Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
