Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
