Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
