New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
