Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
