I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
