i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
