well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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