Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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