i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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