Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
