I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
