is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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