if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
one might say we're banned from that church
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
