Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
