i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Don't make out with my wife yet
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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