There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
