On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
COCAINE IS GR8
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
