just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
