I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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