So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am never drinking with the goths again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
