dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
