i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
