Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
