I puked a lego.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
