Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
