its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
