i can't believe i had my finger in that
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
