Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
