Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
