I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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