Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
God I need to hump something, right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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