also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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