i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
