ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize