she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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