So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
