I hate all girls vehemently.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
