lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
