the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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