That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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