is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
