So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
