if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
